Like a Little Kid

Can’t sleep waiting for what I hope, hope, hope is an inspiring experience at The Yellow Conference.  And, super-duper excited to connect with old friends (and maybe make some new connections) while in L.A.

That excitement is, I expect, what’s got me still awake at this hour. I mean — oh, wait a second, someone’s at the door.

Will you look who it is?  Insomnia! Look at you, you sneaky little bugger, knocking on my door at this hour!  You are too much! Long time, no see. You look great. I love your new hair!  So, okay, come in, I guess. So … How’ve you been? I can’t say I’ve missed you, but here you are again, so …. yeah, I guess we can hang out here and watch some CSI episodes on Hulu or something until your Uber shows up? I mean, if that’s okay with you because if you actually wanted to just GTFO right now, I would be fine with that, too.

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via Celebrating Saveur 2016 Blog Awards Finalists — Discover

Reminder

I had a good conversation with my sister today. It had been a while, not for any other reason than she is the busiest person I know and I am the second busiest person I know. And, I am thankful for the kind of laughter I got to indulge in as a result of that talk. But also thankful for this reminder from Emanuel (an angel name was never more appropriate for a mortal) for both my sister and myself about how we might better deal with external pressures by putting them behind the imperative that is self care.

You deserve the love you keep trying to give eveveryone else.

And I will be the first to admit that there are a host of (bad word descriptor for mean/dumb/condescending people here … Rhymes with brother chuckers.)  But this quote was a reminder about trying to love and support the good ones, and recognizing that — our mean tendencies aside, we, each of us, deserve and are called to love ourselves, even in the moments when we aren’t as kind as we could be. Because if we do, maybe it’ll be easier to walk away from the folks that make it hard to do so, if we can’t find a way to love them. Beats the alternative — and I haven’t found a 100% effective untraceable poison easily available on the Internet, so … This seems like a better plan. Here comes Monday. I am rooting for you!

Not Funny

Little Friday and Big Friday Proper just melted into each other. Not pretty. Not funny.

The current context is temporary. And the will to change is exemplary. So even though it’s it late, I know, the celebtation is still a go. It’s made better this time because it’s two for one. LFE and BFP, as two and done!

I know, right?  I can’t freestyle, but I can greeting-card-style.  Hit me up, Hallmark’

Okay, so here’s the thing I should have done but am now doing. The LFE (or in this case, LFE + BFP) cuddles. Here you go:

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Click here for the story of these cuties that I am about to steal from the zoo. I need more horrible pets, I think!

Okay, I guess

I was in a meeting today, after coming in late to work because, desperate for 90 minutes of no-thinks, I went to Bikram this morning again …  I love it, but it for real won’t stop with giving me nosebleeds.  Took time to go home and change out of my bloody shirt and came in to work just in time for a meeting. And it was hard.  I think because I had tried to do something just for me and it turned into something that made me feel great in the moment, and 100x worse when it was over. I was sitting in the conference room feeling bad, like, need to do toddler-frustration-cry bad. My colleague noticed I was feeling weird and super out of sorts. And, God love her (because she gets on my damned nerves all day) she’s the one colleague I have who always speaks the truth to me and lets me fight with her and get over it, looked at me and said, “You are wrong right now. You need to go to the doctor. Right now.”  And she was right!

Stress is no joke. You feel like you get used to it and that’s the way it should be. “Oh, my chest always feels this tight. My back and neck are always tense.”  Nope.

And people in work and in life and in wherever just give you more things to do and you think, “Okay, I should be able to do this, too, otherwise why would they be giving it to me or asking me to do it!”   I’ll tell you why, you fool. Because no. Nope, they don’t want to do it either, but they know your sucker-goodness will. Right up until you break from trying to get all the work in the world you have to do done at the expense of the work you yearn to do for your heart and the work you are entitled to do for your health. Balance in all things.

But if not, then you break. And thank heavens someone noticed it and yelled at me today. So, this Little Thing/Big Inspiration goes out to Miss Anne. It wasn’t a song or a picture or a moment of nostalgia. It was something that happened in real time. I will forever remember the day she said to me, “What the hell is wrong with you?  Do I need to drive you to the doctor myself?”  That’s the last time anyone is going to be more concerned about me than I am about myself and it goes on the list of things not to do ever again. Thanks, Anne!

Shit

I am in the exact opposite place of the place I should be in for the Little Things/Big Inspiration post for this Little Friday Eve.

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Maybe it’s because it’s 12:30am and I am just now starting in on the two urgent projects that need doing before sunrise?  Maybe it’s because sometimes, the truth is we’re in some shit and don’t have time for inspirational puppies and kittens and baby elephants and whatnot.

Let’s see what happens if I give it 7 hours to work itself out, though. #wontstopcantstop #hopeabides