Scene: Me at my desk at work, on the phone with a representative from Verizon and my mom. We’re attempting to port her existing number to the iPhone I gave her.
Verizon Rep: Okay, now, Mary, take the back off of your old phone and remove the battery.
Mom: I don’t see a battery.
Verizon Rep: It should look like a flat black square.
Mom: I see a flat chip with gold stripes?
Verizon Rep: That’s your sim card. Don’t remove that.
Mom: It should pop right out?
Both of Us: Yes.
Mom: Well, I am using these scissors to–
Both of Us: No!
Verizon Rep: Mary, put the scissors down! Put the scissors down, Mary!