Time to catch up! I’ve been on the road for back-to-back-to-front-to-middle trips for two weeks. I know I joke about badgers/raccoons breaking in here when I’m gone and messing up the joint, but it may be a real thing. I came home tonight and I can’t figure out how else to explain the general level of disorderliness I see. Plus, I opened the refrigerator just now … big mistake. There’s a whole new ecosystem going on in there. I think I saw a baby dinosaur in the crisper.
Even worse, I went to bust the pets out of the kennel and got a report on Russell Jenkins’ behavior. Apparently, he turned into a pirate at BarkBark Club. I feel like a bad mother who gets called to the principal’s office for not disciplining her child correctly. It sounds like he just decided all the booty in the place belonged to him. (And here, I don’t mean dog booty, I mean prime couch real estate — they have couches there — and water bowls.)
He just loves that place so much — you should see how happy he gets when we turn left at the end of the block instead of right. I’m guessing that since he had to stay for TWO WHOLE WEEKS this time, he convinced himself that he’d won the lottery, “Man, I hit the big time! This home is so much better than that shoebox I live in with that woman and that cat!” And then, he commenced to trying to run the joint. Poor little fool. I’m happy he’s back.