One way my subconscious lets me know that yes, there’s just too much looming, too much hanging over me, too much to do and not enough time/help to get it done is that I get an old-timey spiritual all stuck in my head and find myself humming a mournful melody around the joint. (Sometimes, it’s Dolly Parton’s Jolene, but usually, it’s a spiritual.)
I think it’s the legacy of my Granny Bessie. I remember hearing her humming in the kitchen when I was little. Sometimes, if she was real mad, she’d hum A LOT … and loudly. Sometimes, she’d hum instead of talking! I think it was a comfort to her as much as a warning to the people getting close to her last nerve that they’d better tread lightly. I may not know why the caged bird sings, but I sure do know now why a woman who sees the end of her rope waving at her from a block or two away might take to humming.
I worked with a dear woman, Liz (which reminds me, I miss her and will get to following up immediately!) who shared a cubicle wall with me. Every once in a while, I’d hear her let forth a hum that was part sorrow, part a call for calm/strength, and always part spiritual after a particularly difficult conversation or a frustrating phone call. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.
I missed you guys! Too much to do, but now that I’ve found my hum, I think it’s gonna’ be okay.