Not The Way

Not the way to kick-off LFE!

You guys!  I almost killed Russell Jenkins tonight.  Took him off-leash so he could do his usual sprint to the front door … where there was a feral cat (we have lots of them here… well, only three, but they are ballsy, so it seems like there are 28 of them).  He actually did that thing where he looked at me to judge how mad I’d be and then


He took off after the poor thing.  It’s all woods and brambles and pitfalls around my home at night, so I imagined him hurt and broken at the bottom of some well. Even though there are no wells, still, a girl goes through it, you know?  Since Russell Jenkins doesn’t bark unless there’s thunder, how would I ever find him?

Pause.  Since we’re on questions, where the heck was that spirit when the squirrel was in the house, I ask?  That day, RJ literally jumped in a box and peeped out to watch the proceedings.  I mean, that squirrel could have killed me!  This cat, though?  S/he set Russell Jenkins on a mission.

I was two strides short of stopping him.  I mean, he was close enough that I almost got his curly tail.  But, off he went after that cat.  He lives with a cat on the daily.  They sleep together for heaven’s sake, but outside cats? Apparently, they’re a different breed.  A breed that needs chasing, I guess.

The second he stops being cute ... watch out.
The second he stops being cute … watch out.

ONE HOUR LATER… One hour of me knocking on doors, telling people to be on the look out for a one-eyed dog the color of the evening we were in (read: black as night and hard to see), a one-eyed, bow-legged Frankenstein dog who would definitely not come if called by anyone but me, but here’s my phone number in case you do see him,  I finally gave up and thought I’d just leave the doors open and wait.  I was actually teary eyed at this point, and walking back to my apartment when I saw that SONOFABITCH sitting right in front of the front door.  I wanna strangle him.  As soon as he stops cuddling me on the couch, and I stop cuddling him back for all I’m worth, I’m for sure gonna strangle him.


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