People — myself among them — who have pets often say, “Oh, I wish I could they could just talk to me.” Well, that’s fine and all if your dog/cat/iguana had gone to university prior to arriving at your home, in’it? It occurred to me today that if Russell Jenkins could, in fact, talk, he would say:
1) Why are you moving around on the bed? I’m comfortable, so stop it.
2) Why are you not giving me your dinner?
3) When are you going to put that thing on my neck so we can go hunt squirrels?
4) What is that cat still doing here?
Eli’s text, by virtue of her being a cat and somewhat more inclined to the theoretical:
Eli: Why do you hate me?
Me: I don’t hate you.
Eli: Then why can’t I sleep on your face?
Me: I do hate you.
Saul would just say, “eeeeerrrhahh harumph glug.”
Guess which one I love the most?