So, look at this:
What the heck is wrong with these parents? If it were me, I would have likely overturned the table and for sure would have spoken up about the truth in that situation: That nose ring is just 100% too terribly long for you and we need to go get you a new, better fitting one toot de suite, child.
It’s hard to be as fashion-forward as I am, even though I do it in secret so you can’t really tell how much I know about fashion-forwardness based on my appearance. So it probably surprises you that I have such strong fashion-forward opinions and that they — often without my control– splash right out of my mouth in a fashion-forward way. It’s my burden to carry in this life, and it would be unfair to deprive the world of my fashion-forwardness. I do it for you.
And also, come on. You knew where I was going, right? This was all kinds of awesome and the parents’ thoughtful responses about changing the scripts they had in their heads and wanting their kids to just live their best lives … amen, amen, amen.
I was also kind of kidding about the nose ring. I have a thing about nose rings. As a serious allergy sufferer, I just go to an ugly place when I see them. It’s probably okay as is. I just had my booger radar on high alert after today’s pollen fest in my head.
So, getting back to the important thing, this child. He is, even with that nose ring, a “beautiful child” to quote the father and I expect their story will help other families of non-CIS-gendered beautiful children be the best families they can. I also want to reiterate that I know NOTHING about fashion. Sometimes when people compliment me on an accessory or shirt I am wearing, I just take it off right there and then and give it to them because I get scared of dealing with future expectations that’ll be put on me to look right. Better for it to be in the hands of people who know how to make it work.